Playing Tag with the chicken

Of course I'm not playing real tag I am palying phone tag with my guy. This has been going on for the last couple of days. I have called him and left a voice mail on his cell and he has done the same. There are important bits of information that I would like to talk to him about before he gets back. Well I could wait for him to get back but I'm to chicken shit to do it face to face.
Bit #1 Why I did not call more, I have plenty of excuses, like I didn't know his schedule or I didn't want to bother him. Really what it comes down to is that he makes me nervous and everything I want to say I forget, but it is a two way street and he could have called me more also. It also makes me nervous that he has something else going on with someone down there???
Bit #2 When he wants to see me he can call me, I'm trying not to be the psycho girlfriend with all the insecurities, the clingy need girl but sometimes I get hormonal (like I am right now, PMS). I will say I have always been a good actress so even when I do see him I will act the apporiate way, which I'm not sure what that is.
Bit #3 Will have to wait until he comes back, which is the biggest of all, when do we get to consummate our relationship in other words when do we get to have sex. Yes, I understand that you got out of a bad marriage a few years ago. Yes, I understand that you want to take it slow, for the relationship, but I always believed that sex is it's own enitity in the relationship.
Really what it comes down to is that I have not had sex (as in the act between two people having intercourse) in two and half bloody fucking years, yes I said two and half bloody fucking years, or 30 months, or 910 days, or 21,840 hours, or 1,310,400 mins or 78,624,000 seconds. I am getting bored of self satisfaction it does not appease me anymore.
In all reality I'm a normal, confident, woman who know that her insecurities are hogwash and I usually don't pay attention unless it is a nagging intution that I feel deep down. These insecurites are more on the surface and I brush them away, but they still make me nervous. These what if scenarios are pissing me off, I know I don't need the reasurance that I sound so desparte for. I'm prefectly happy without someone in my life I just like the company and entertainment that it brings.
I think winter is wearing on me, as the dark it is starting to make me crazy. And the mad (as in crazy) people that I had to deal with while shopping yesterday implanted the maddness bug up my ass, now I will have to take a good dose of bug repelant aka reality to not be mad anymore. Trying to keep the mind occupied in the winter in Alaska is not easy, I started to learn how to knit, I do scrapbooking, I play with my daughter, I'm going to start going to the gym again, and tanning to make my pasty white ass a nicely shaped tanned ass. As hobbies go I have plenty to keep me occupied, but what I don't have is a nice rousing bit of wild animal sex... Maybe soon because the hormones are crazy and the darkness in making me even more crazy.
I think I am going to have an all out attack on my guy when he gets home, then have a nice frousing bit of wild animal sex to relieve all this built up aggression...