Dream Interpertation (Part I)

For many dreams are just manifestations while they sleep, some believe dreams are the key to unlocking the sub-conscious, some believe dreams have meaning and are sub-conscious messages sent to the conscious mind when sleeping, also that certain aspects of dreams symbolize something. I sometimes, okay most of the time remember my dreams and certain things do pop out. When I think about it I write them down, which is not often.
The last two nights I have remembered two very distinctive dreams and I have looked up the meaning of the things that pop out at me.
Dream one- I am in London, my favorite town in the world, this unknown gentleman, I'll call him Jack, and I check in to a hotel. After we get into our room, which is not really a room at all but a huge house, I notice that every room in the house has a fireplace, there are no fires in the fire places. Then we have a visitor, Jill, who is Jack's love, I am just Jack's friend. Jack and Jill go into the library, and cuddle on the couch. I enter the room after them and build them a fire watch for a few moments to make sure it catches, then leave the room. When I return Jack and Jill are making love on the floor which at this point I will add that they don't seem to notice that I walked in and I really don't care that they are having sex I just go on tending the fire again, and the bell rings at the door. I go to check the peephole on the door, it is a lady, Mary, who is obsessed with Jack, she is now pounding on the door demanding entry. Jack and Jill hear this, they know that we do not have much time to escape Mary because the library opens up to a patio and Mary is coming up the back walk way. They hurriedly button and zip their clothes, they were not fully undressed and they were dressed in Renaissance style clothes while I am in jeans and a sweater. Mary now can plainly see into the library but is still a ways off. We rush out of the library into the hall flip a switch and exit through a secret passage. Jack and Jill need to keep their love a secret and I am the only one who knows. Jack and Jill are a Lord and Lady of the court of her majesty Princess Anne (who appears in my dream as Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries). We exit the secret passage and are now in Regents Park having tea. Princess Anne approaches and greets us, I have never met Princess Anne so I am properly introduced and we walk in the park talking of all matters of things. And that is where the dream ends.
Questions I asked myself of this dream: Why do Jack and Jill have to keep their love a secret from Princess Anne, who is a delightful, kind hearted woman, very down to earth and would understand such a thing. Both Jack and Jill are unattached and in their late 20's as are all the people in the dream. That is the only question that I was not able to answer.
The things that pop out at me in this dream-the hotel/house, fireplaces/fire, love, royalty, secret, and escape.
Here is what I found the meaning to be to those symbols
The hotel, not counting the fact that it was a house-Hotels are great places. A cheap hotel is the epitome of tackiness and indecency, while a nice hotel is the picture of elegance, wealth, and romance. To dream of a hotel usually brings you to one of these two poles of awareness. Either you are hiding-out of guilt or adultery-or you are basking in the power of wealth or romance. Your feelings of inclusion, separation, or identification with others may be connected to the hotel event in the dream.
My analysis- It was no cheap hotel so we can rule that out, and I am not basking in the power of wealth or romance. So that leaves the feelings of inclusion, separation, or identification with others. I believe it has to do with the recent spilt between me and the guy I was seeing or the not recent split, jury is still out on if we are or are not a couple still.
Fireplace/Fire-Burning is a tremendous fear many people from many different cultures hold in common. However, it is often simultaneously associated with purification. To pass through fire intact is to see oneself as becoming purified. However, being burned may indicate that one perceives life as extraordinarily threatening and painful. If a particular object is on fire (house, car, etc.), this may symbolize over-commitment to it or fear of a world without it. Are you seeking cleansing from a bad experience.
-A fire is also a complex omen in a dream and must be interpreted in light of the actions connected with it. To see a house burning down in a dream is the warning that a close relative needs help from you desperately. If the fire burns you, you will have bad luck, if not, then you will have good luck. A small fire in the fireplace shows contentment in the dreamer, but if you stir it with a poker you will soon have a romantic adventure. If you manage to put out a destructive fire then you will overcome the obstacles in your path of life.
My analysis-I did not burn or pass through a fire, nor did anything burn but the wood in the fire place and I did not put out any fire. Two part meaning-The first when I have built the fire and watching I am seeking to cleans myself from a bad experience, and I am content in that. As for the second time when I am tending the fire, this means I will have a romantic adventure.
Love between Jack and Jill-If you dream you see a couple in love and expressing it to each other, this denotes that your present undertaking will meet with success.
Royalty- 300 years ago royalty would be associated with wealth and power. However, as we become more aware of the struggles royalty face, it is more common to dream of them in relation to our own daily struggles.
My analysis- I'm not the only one to ever go through an odd break-up.

Escape-To escape from someone or somewhere is often indicative of needing to uncover new potential in the self, or to drop bad habits of the past. This new potential comes from incorporating the next order of archetype into the conscious. Escape can also reveal either a birth experience metaphor, or that one is discovering self-imposed limitations and is seeking to overcome them.

My analysis-I am in need to uncover new potential in myself by discovering and overcoming self-imposed limitations.

Secret-To dream that you or someone has a secret, represents hidden power. It suggests that something needs to emerge from your unconscious.
My analysis- I was the one with the secret kept from the Princess, which I have a hidden power and it needs to emerge from my unconscious.
All combined the interpretation tells me- My feeling of separation from the break up and the bad experience can be cleansed (forgotten) so that I will be content when I have a new romantic adventure, by cleansing (forgetting) it will be a successful romantic adventure. It also reminds me that I am not alone. I need to uncover that new potential in myself by overcoming the self-limitations, in doing so I will emerge more confident then before (what needed to emerge from my unconscious).

Accomplishments/Disapointments of 2006 and Goals for 2007

Jan 06-moved into my first house that I own (with the bank).

Feb 06-Paid first ever in my life car payment, (sinker) they financed me he he.

Mar 06- Successfully completed police academy in the top 10% of my class.

April 06- Ran in to an old friend at store and started talking to him, returned to gym after months of being lazy.

May 06-Was proposed to by at least 2 men, one intoxicated, the other old enough to be my grandfather.

June 06-Took daughter on first camping trip and seaside adventure, stopped going to gym but started running at least a mile and half everyday. Had first professional photo taken of me and my daughter.

July 06- Finally got up the nerve to kiss old friend and told him I liked him.

Aug 06- Started dating old friend. Discovered Grrl Genius blog* on Ivillage. Learned to change oil in my truck.

Sep 06- Turned another year old, did something I had always wanted to do but never had the courage, got a wacky hair do at the Alaska State Fair. Started own blog.

Oct 06- My guy left for training for 3 months and everything seemed good. Daughter lost first tooth a week before her 5th b-day. Read Grrl Genius' Guide to Sex(With Other People)*, cried at the end when the main character finally got her fire fighter. Stopped running at the end of the month getting to cold, contemplated joining a gym again.

Nov 06- Read Grrl Genius' Guide to Life*, the book written prior to the Oct read. Embraced my enter Grrl Genius**. Still contemplated whether or not I want to join a gym. Stayed active to help keep in shape. Made Christmas cards.

Dec 06- Finally decided that yes I am joining a gym, just have be active and do it. Had 95% of Christmas shopping done 2 weeks before. Baked and lovingly arranged cookies on trays for friends. Santa brought the ultimate Christmas present for my daughter, Butterscotch the Pony.
Lost a total of 50 lbs of pregnancy weight from 2005. Lived in my own house for a full year, paid bills, and work like a normal adult, proved to myself the yes I can make it after I got out of the military.

Thing the jury is still out on- The guy I was dating and thought everything was fine with in Oct when he left for training, well it was not, did not hear that much from him nor have a heard from him since he got back. Still have no idea why, but would like to know.

Goals for 2007-

Jan 07- give kitchen a face lift with new paint on the cabinets and floor, really excited and can not wait.

Feb 07- Buy new washer and dryer, finish painting bathroom that I started painting when I first moved in. Join gym and start busting my butt everyday to loose the rest of the weight I gained when I was pregnant in 2005, hopefully most of it before April because I have a date.

Mar-Dec 07 Enjoy life to the fullest, continue to workout at gym, spend as much time with my daughter before she starts school in Aug 07 (Scary), work hard to get a promotion, be happy, and continue to embrace my Grrl Genius**.

April 07- Attend job training out of state, hook up with hottie I know from the area I am going.

* The Grrl Genius' Guide to Life and Grrl Genius' Guide to Sex(With Other People) {a self-help novel} were both written by Cathryn Michon, Grrl Genius.

** Grrl Genius Inc. by Cathryn Michon, for more information go to www.grrlgenius.com

Okay I get the hint

When you left I knew you would not be able to contact me for a couple of weeks, I was okay with that. Then when you called that once we talked for about 10 mins and that was it. I week and a half before you got home I tried to call you and we played phone tag a couple of times, but still I didn't get to talk to you. Then about a week before you got home I actually got to talk to you for about 3 mins with a shitty connection so I could not understand what you were saying. After the call was dropped I tried back later and just got your voice mail so I left a message, again no return phone call. When you finally got home you didn't call, okay I can deal with that. Then I find out from a mutual that your house was flooded when you got home, so I brushed it off as you being too busy dealing with that. So I called to see if you needed any help with anything, but alas I got your voice mail again, so again I left a message offering you help. I felt bad because it was a crappy thing to come home to after being gone for three months. Now after you have been home a week I get the hint, if you wanted our relationship to continue you would have called. I see now that you do not, so thank you for making this decision for me. My only question is why did you not have the balls to say something on the phone the whole TWO times that we talked. You know, that just pisses me off. When a man decides to be a little bitch and has to take the easy way out instead of being upfront with me. If you were truthful I would have been down for a little bit but at least I would have not been left wonder what I did or did not do. It is the fuckers like you that don't tell it like it is that give women insecurities. If I did not work with the men I do I would totally loose faith in all men, but fortunately I work with the kind of men I thought you were. But you had me fooled, now you can move on to fool the next woman. Good luck with that.

As for me, I will be fine. I happen to like myself enough to know that it was not me who screwed this up but you. It did not kill me so you know what that means it only made me stronger.

Am I depressed about this? No, I have not reason to be.
Will I turn psycho and call you everyday until you have to get a restraining order to stay 1 mile away at all times? Well if that happens then you should sell your house and move because I am not, so no, psycho is unbecoming of me.
Will I keep in contact with our mutual friends? Yes, for if they are truly friends this will not effect our friendship.
I will chalk this up as lesson learned, embrace my Grrl Genius and find someone who will worship my genius.
I believe the song is entitled "I Will Survive" and that is what I intend on doing.

And now I know why I was nervous and had the insecurities popping up, my intution is usually right on, and it was yet again.

Hello, My Name is AkCopGirl and I'm an Addict

What! You say I can not be an addict. Oh, but I can and I am. Not in the convetional way, durgs were never a choice for me because of my choosen career path, the military and law enforcement really frown on that kind of thing. Alcohol does not really appease me any more, yes I did drink but the ocational binge drinking. I would get shnockered then there would be that one day when I had the hagover from hell and I would say no more, and I wouldn't drink for long periods of time, like when I was stationed in Italy and got left at this club with guy, but I will save that story for another day. I do smoke cigarettes at work not too much at home because of my daughter, and when I do I smoke outside. My other addiction is caffeine, which I choose to do by drinking Moutaindew.
Now I am trying to quit smoking so I picked up a hobbie to keep my hands busy, and that is now my favorite addiction of all. When I'm at work I can not wait to get home to continue working on it. On my days off sometimes it is all I want to do and interaction with my daughter is the only thing that pulls me away. I have only been doing this hobbie for about a week, but I am addicted and can't wait to see how the first thing I make turns out.
So hello, my name is AkCopGirl and I am an addict. Unfortunately there is no type of Anonymous group for this, I think I might find a group though.
My new addiction is to replace smoking, as I improve with it I will start dwendling down on the nicotine. I was inspired by a book. My addiction is KNITTING, yup that is right I'm coming out of the closest, I'm addicted to knitting. It is relaxing and is helping to quit smoking, I have smoked less in the last week than normal. I'm making my daughter a scarf, even though she really wants a blanket, she collects blankets like normal girls collect dolls (again another story). I'm profecting my knit one/prul two or knit two/purl one conscept, which is slow going when I finish the scarf I will post a pic, I'm just knitting that no purling.

Playing Tag with the chicken

Of course I'm not playing real tag I am palying phone tag with my guy. This has been going on for the last couple of days. I have called him and left a voice mail on his cell and he has done the same. There are important bits of information that I would like to talk to him about before he gets back. Well I could wait for him to get back but I'm to chicken shit to do it face to face.
Bit #1 Why I did not call more, I have plenty of excuses, like I didn't know his schedule or I didn't want to bother him. Really what it comes down to is that he makes me nervous and everything I want to say I forget, but it is a two way street and he could have called me more also. It also makes me nervous that he has something else going on with someone down there???
Bit #2 When he wants to see me he can call me, I'm trying not to be the psycho girlfriend with all the insecurities, the clingy need girl but sometimes I get hormonal (like I am right now, PMS). I will say I have always been a good actress so even when I do see him I will act the apporiate way, which I'm not sure what that is.
Bit #3 Will have to wait until he comes back, which is the biggest of all, when do we get to consummate our relationship in other words when do we get to have sex. Yes, I understand that you got out of a bad marriage a few years ago. Yes, I understand that you want to take it slow, for the relationship, but I always believed that sex is it's own enitity in the relationship.
Really what it comes down to is that I have not had sex (as in the act between two people having intercourse) in two and half bloody fucking years, yes I said two and half bloody fucking years, or 30 months, or 910 days, or 21,840 hours, or 1,310,400 mins or 78,624,000 seconds. I am getting bored of self satisfaction it does not appease me anymore.
In all reality I'm a normal, confident, woman who know that her insecurities are hogwash and I usually don't pay attention unless it is a nagging intution that I feel deep down. These insecurites are more on the surface and I brush them away, but they still make me nervous. These what if scenarios are pissing me off, I know I don't need the reasurance that I sound so desparte for. I'm prefectly happy without someone in my life I just like the company and entertainment that it brings.
I think winter is wearing on me, as the dark it is starting to make me crazy. And the mad (as in crazy) people that I had to deal with while shopping yesterday implanted the maddness bug up my ass, now I will have to take a good dose of bug repelant aka reality to not be mad anymore. Trying to keep the mind occupied in the winter in Alaska is not easy, I started to learn how to knit, I do scrapbooking, I play with my daughter, I'm going to start going to the gym again, and tanning to make my pasty white ass a nicely shaped tanned ass. As hobbies go I have plenty to keep me occupied, but what I don't have is a nice rousing bit of wild animal sex... Maybe soon because the hormones are crazy and the darkness in making me even more crazy.
I think I am going to have an all out attack on my guy when he gets home, then have a nice frousing bit of wild animal sex to relieve all this built up aggression...

Two Weeks Notice

I have two week until my guy gets back. What a releif it will be to have him back. I'm a little nervous on how things will go, he has been gone for a while and I'm affriad that things might have changed for him. I know how I feel I'm just scared on how he feels, I also know these are just my insecurities trying to trip me out. I will ignore them, and be positive, I know deep doen everything is fine...