Bits about Alaska

You know your from Alaska when...

....you think bald eagles aren't that great
... you know to go to best buy a month after a cd release because thats when it
will FINALLY arrive in Alaska
....you wish seagulls came with a mute button
...you can go to Mc.Donalds and order off the $1.50 menu which they feel is
equivalant to the $0.99 menu
.... you were appalled by the "Carrs-Safeway" merge a few years ago
....you have to have a raven cage around your trash to keep them out
....you go to school or work in the dark and come home in the dark
....30 degrees is shorts weather (it's true)
....-10 is a bit nippy (also true)
....buses leaving school are delayed because a bear is in the parking lot
....you tell people you live in an igloo for kicks
....you dont swim in natural bodies of water for fear of swimmers itch or
beaver fever
.... having a moose in your front yard is a legitimate excuse for being late
to school
.... there is nothing like Matanuska Maid (local dairy products)
....you only go to the AK state fair for the food
....you have been chased or know someone who has been chased by a moose at
least once.
.... you design your halloween costumes to fit over snow gear
....you get an attitude when u have to pay tax in the lower 48
.... there is 4 feet of snow the night be fore school and u STILL have to go.
....if you dont like the weather wait 5 mins and then go back out
....you sleep through an earthquake like nothing ever happened
....salmon isnt a delicacy
....halibut is beer battered rather than cooked some fancy way (the best way)
... 70 degrees is equivalant to 90 degrees in the lower 48
.... you know who "Sleeping Lady" is
....during the winter you rarely use your freezer,
....you think 4 bucks for a loaf of bread is cheap
.... a "cookout" is not all the time outside because its entirely too cold
for all of that (yes, we do BBQ in the winter)
.... you don't sleep in the summer because its too short to miss a minute of
it
....half your friends own a sled (snow machine) and you think people that
call them snow mobiles are insane
...you call tourist terrorist
...You refer to the 48 states as the "lower 48"
.... you've seen the northern lights, and you know why they are such a "big
deal"
....you know its all about the snow, DUH.
...you know that Cattle Company has the best potato soup there is.
...you know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Break-up, and
Re-Construction.
...your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil or black blankets.
...Two speed limits in Alaska, the get outta my way limit, and taking cover
limit
...you go to red robin and only order the bottomless fries
....you only watch the news when they announce the amount of the years
dividend
...Your school classes weren't canceled because of ice
...You KNOW your teacher is stoned in class
...you have to start your car at least an hour before you leave so most of
the ice and snow will melt off by the time you leave
...you wear flips flops all year, and don't get sick
...you've never seen cotton or tobacco growing, but your neighbor has a 30
acre pot field
...You think driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.
...You literally cant leave the house without seeing some one you know.
...You know the term "studs" isnt referring to hot guys.
...You know that the term "native" means to get drunk.
...have to ski in gym class
...Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through red lights without flinching.
...You see people wearing Carharts clothes at social events.
...You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
.... you know the homeless eskimos on 5th ave. by name
...you know who "Binki" was and was so sad when he died.
...you expect to see a moose crossing Tudor everytime u drive down.
...You give up and tell people in the lower 48 that you DO live in an igloo
and you DO have a pet polar bear named Mishka when they refuse to believe
otherwise.
....you call someone without a crack in there windshield a tourist

I don't know who wrote this but it is so true.

Princess Lolly or Queen Frostline

When I was a kid my favorite board game was Candyland. My daughter now has a Candyland game. We don't play to often, but last night she wanted to so we did. The whole time we were playing she kept asking who I wanted to be? Then she told me that I could be Queen Frostline (from the old version) and she could be Princess Lolly. Ofcourse the newer version of Candyland does not have a Queen, she has been reduced to a princess. And as for Princess Lolly, she is now just known as Lolly, loosing her princess status, I guess we'll never know why. I suppose it is because of the Candyland DVD that came out a couple of years ago, and the base line of the story is that Princess Frostline (former Queen) needs to be rescued.

We did not play in the traditional manner of being the red, blue, yellow, or green gingerbread people. Somewhere along in time we have misplace them, and more than likely when my daughter has played with the game by herself is when they were lost. Instead of taking up vaulable play time we imporvised and used Monopoly pieces instead. It worked just as well and she we happy to play as the horse, her favorite animal. She choose the dog for me, so instead of a race of gingerbread it was a race between a dog and a horse. When we finished playing she won two games to me only winning one, but that is the way it is supposed to be when playing with your kids.

Now they have different version of the game, as a Dora the Explorer and DVD game

As for a horse that is one of a different color. Hasbro has come out with a FurReal Friends Horse named Butterscotch, they began advertising it on TV about a week age and that is all I have heard that she wants for Christmas, with about 20 other things on her list. But she will probably get the horse as it is her favorite aninmal.

Under Construction

Sorry for the inconvience, I have been adding and changing my blog to make it all mine, construction is still in progress. Please be cautious as things are subject to change.

Darwin Awards

Of course it is that time of year again, just to refresh your memory last years winner used a .22 cal bullet as a fuse in his truck because the lights went out. What has this years winner done that can top that? What have the runners up done to put them in the top 5? Read on, and you will learn who and why are the winners of this years....

Darwin Awards

5th RUNNER-UP: Goes to a San Anselmo , California man who died when he it a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital . The accident occurred about 3:00 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.

4th RUNNER-UP: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.

3rd RUNNER-UP: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

2nd! RUNNER -UP: "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the.22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl M.D.Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. " I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

1st RUNNER-UP: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants Pass , Oregon . A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon, Doctor Johnny Delashaw, at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.

Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER: The late John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington , decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for the late Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.

Congratulations! You win! And some more idiots have been removed from the gene pool.