Dream Interpertation (Part I)

For many dreams are just manifestations while they sleep, some believe dreams are the key to unlocking the sub-conscious, some believe dreams have meaning and are sub-conscious messages sent to the conscious mind when sleeping, also that certain aspects of dreams symbolize something. I sometimes, okay most of the time remember my dreams and certain things do pop out. When I think about it I write them down, which is not often.
The last two nights I have remembered two very distinctive dreams and I have looked up the meaning of the things that pop out at me.
Dream one- I am in London, my favorite town in the world, this unknown gentleman, I'll call him Jack, and I check in to a hotel. After we get into our room, which is not really a room at all but a huge house, I notice that every room in the house has a fireplace, there are no fires in the fire places. Then we have a visitor, Jill, who is Jack's love, I am just Jack's friend. Jack and Jill go into the library, and cuddle on the couch. I enter the room after them and build them a fire watch for a few moments to make sure it catches, then leave the room. When I return Jack and Jill are making love on the floor which at this point I will add that they don't seem to notice that I walked in and I really don't care that they are having sex I just go on tending the fire again, and the bell rings at the door. I go to check the peephole on the door, it is a lady, Mary, who is obsessed with Jack, she is now pounding on the door demanding entry. Jack and Jill hear this, they know that we do not have much time to escape Mary because the library opens up to a patio and Mary is coming up the back walk way. They hurriedly button and zip their clothes, they were not fully undressed and they were dressed in Renaissance style clothes while I am in jeans and a sweater. Mary now can plainly see into the library but is still a ways off. We rush out of the library into the hall flip a switch and exit through a secret passage. Jack and Jill need to keep their love a secret and I am the only one who knows. Jack and Jill are a Lord and Lady of the court of her majesty Princess Anne (who appears in my dream as Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries). We exit the secret passage and are now in Regents Park having tea. Princess Anne approaches and greets us, I have never met Princess Anne so I am properly introduced and we walk in the park talking of all matters of things. And that is where the dream ends.
Questions I asked myself of this dream: Why do Jack and Jill have to keep their love a secret from Princess Anne, who is a delightful, kind hearted woman, very down to earth and would understand such a thing. Both Jack and Jill are unattached and in their late 20's as are all the people in the dream. That is the only question that I was not able to answer.
The things that pop out at me in this dream-the hotel/house, fireplaces/fire, love, royalty, secret, and escape.
Here is what I found the meaning to be to those symbols
The hotel, not counting the fact that it was a house-Hotels are great places. A cheap hotel is the epitome of tackiness and indecency, while a nice hotel is the picture of elegance, wealth, and romance. To dream of a hotel usually brings you to one of these two poles of awareness. Either you are hiding-out of guilt or adultery-or you are basking in the power of wealth or romance. Your feelings of inclusion, separation, or identification with others may be connected to the hotel event in the dream.
My analysis- It was no cheap hotel so we can rule that out, and I am not basking in the power of wealth or romance. So that leaves the feelings of inclusion, separation, or identification with others. I believe it has to do with the recent spilt between me and the guy I was seeing or the not recent split, jury is still out on if we are or are not a couple still.
Fireplace/Fire-Burning is a tremendous fear many people from many different cultures hold in common. However, it is often simultaneously associated with purification. To pass through fire intact is to see oneself as becoming purified. However, being burned may indicate that one perceives life as extraordinarily threatening and painful. If a particular object is on fire (house, car, etc.), this may symbolize over-commitment to it or fear of a world without it. Are you seeking cleansing from a bad experience.
-A fire is also a complex omen in a dream and must be interpreted in light of the actions connected with it. To see a house burning down in a dream is the warning that a close relative needs help from you desperately. If the fire burns you, you will have bad luck, if not, then you will have good luck. A small fire in the fireplace shows contentment in the dreamer, but if you stir it with a poker you will soon have a romantic adventure. If you manage to put out a destructive fire then you will overcome the obstacles in your path of life.
My analysis-I did not burn or pass through a fire, nor did anything burn but the wood in the fire place and I did not put out any fire. Two part meaning-The first when I have built the fire and watching I am seeking to cleans myself from a bad experience, and I am content in that. As for the second time when I am tending the fire, this means I will have a romantic adventure.
Love between Jack and Jill-If you dream you see a couple in love and expressing it to each other, this denotes that your present undertaking will meet with success.
Royalty- 300 years ago royalty would be associated with wealth and power. However, as we become more aware of the struggles royalty face, it is more common to dream of them in relation to our own daily struggles.
My analysis- I'm not the only one to ever go through an odd break-up.

Escape-To escape from someone or somewhere is often indicative of needing to uncover new potential in the self, or to drop bad habits of the past. This new potential comes from incorporating the next order of archetype into the conscious. Escape can also reveal either a birth experience metaphor, or that one is discovering self-imposed limitations and is seeking to overcome them.

My analysis-I am in need to uncover new potential in myself by discovering and overcoming self-imposed limitations.

Secret-To dream that you or someone has a secret, represents hidden power. It suggests that something needs to emerge from your unconscious.
My analysis- I was the one with the secret kept from the Princess, which I have a hidden power and it needs to emerge from my unconscious.
All combined the interpretation tells me- My feeling of separation from the break up and the bad experience can be cleansed (forgotten) so that I will be content when I have a new romantic adventure, by cleansing (forgetting) it will be a successful romantic adventure. It also reminds me that I am not alone. I need to uncover that new potential in myself by overcoming the self-limitations, in doing so I will emerge more confident then before (what needed to emerge from my unconscious).

Accomplishments/Disapointments of 2006 and Goals for 2007

Jan 06-moved into my first house that I own (with the bank).

Feb 06-Paid first ever in my life car payment, (sinker) they financed me he he.

Mar 06- Successfully completed police academy in the top 10% of my class.

April 06- Ran in to an old friend at store and started talking to him, returned to gym after months of being lazy.

May 06-Was proposed to by at least 2 men, one intoxicated, the other old enough to be my grandfather.

June 06-Took daughter on first camping trip and seaside adventure, stopped going to gym but started running at least a mile and half everyday. Had first professional photo taken of me and my daughter.

July 06- Finally got up the nerve to kiss old friend and told him I liked him.

Aug 06- Started dating old friend. Discovered Grrl Genius blog* on Ivillage. Learned to change oil in my truck.

Sep 06- Turned another year old, did something I had always wanted to do but never had the courage, got a wacky hair do at the Alaska State Fair. Started own blog.

Oct 06- My guy left for training for 3 months and everything seemed good. Daughter lost first tooth a week before her 5th b-day. Read Grrl Genius' Guide to Sex(With Other People)*, cried at the end when the main character finally got her fire fighter. Stopped running at the end of the month getting to cold, contemplated joining a gym again.

Nov 06- Read Grrl Genius' Guide to Life*, the book written prior to the Oct read. Embraced my enter Grrl Genius**. Still contemplated whether or not I want to join a gym. Stayed active to help keep in shape. Made Christmas cards.

Dec 06- Finally decided that yes I am joining a gym, just have be active and do it. Had 95% of Christmas shopping done 2 weeks before. Baked and lovingly arranged cookies on trays for friends. Santa brought the ultimate Christmas present for my daughter, Butterscotch the Pony.
Lost a total of 50 lbs of pregnancy weight from 2005. Lived in my own house for a full year, paid bills, and work like a normal adult, proved to myself the yes I can make it after I got out of the military.

Thing the jury is still out on- The guy I was dating and thought everything was fine with in Oct when he left for training, well it was not, did not hear that much from him nor have a heard from him since he got back. Still have no idea why, but would like to know.

Goals for 2007-

Jan 07- give kitchen a face lift with new paint on the cabinets and floor, really excited and can not wait.

Feb 07- Buy new washer and dryer, finish painting bathroom that I started painting when I first moved in. Join gym and start busting my butt everyday to loose the rest of the weight I gained when I was pregnant in 2005, hopefully most of it before April because I have a date.

Mar-Dec 07 Enjoy life to the fullest, continue to workout at gym, spend as much time with my daughter before she starts school in Aug 07 (Scary), work hard to get a promotion, be happy, and continue to embrace my Grrl Genius**.

April 07- Attend job training out of state, hook up with hottie I know from the area I am going.

* The Grrl Genius' Guide to Life and Grrl Genius' Guide to Sex(With Other People) {a self-help novel} were both written by Cathryn Michon, Grrl Genius.

** Grrl Genius Inc. by Cathryn Michon, for more information go to www.grrlgenius.com

Okay I get the hint

When you left I knew you would not be able to contact me for a couple of weeks, I was okay with that. Then when you called that once we talked for about 10 mins and that was it. I week and a half before you got home I tried to call you and we played phone tag a couple of times, but still I didn't get to talk to you. Then about a week before you got home I actually got to talk to you for about 3 mins with a shitty connection so I could not understand what you were saying. After the call was dropped I tried back later and just got your voice mail so I left a message, again no return phone call. When you finally got home you didn't call, okay I can deal with that. Then I find out from a mutual that your house was flooded when you got home, so I brushed it off as you being too busy dealing with that. So I called to see if you needed any help with anything, but alas I got your voice mail again, so again I left a message offering you help. I felt bad because it was a crappy thing to come home to after being gone for three months. Now after you have been home a week I get the hint, if you wanted our relationship to continue you would have called. I see now that you do not, so thank you for making this decision for me. My only question is why did you not have the balls to say something on the phone the whole TWO times that we talked. You know, that just pisses me off. When a man decides to be a little bitch and has to take the easy way out instead of being upfront with me. If you were truthful I would have been down for a little bit but at least I would have not been left wonder what I did or did not do. It is the fuckers like you that don't tell it like it is that give women insecurities. If I did not work with the men I do I would totally loose faith in all men, but fortunately I work with the kind of men I thought you were. But you had me fooled, now you can move on to fool the next woman. Good luck with that.

As for me, I will be fine. I happen to like myself enough to know that it was not me who screwed this up but you. It did not kill me so you know what that means it only made me stronger.

Am I depressed about this? No, I have not reason to be.
Will I turn psycho and call you everyday until you have to get a restraining order to stay 1 mile away at all times? Well if that happens then you should sell your house and move because I am not, so no, psycho is unbecoming of me.
Will I keep in contact with our mutual friends? Yes, for if they are truly friends this will not effect our friendship.
I will chalk this up as lesson learned, embrace my Grrl Genius and find someone who will worship my genius.
I believe the song is entitled "I Will Survive" and that is what I intend on doing.

And now I know why I was nervous and had the insecurities popping up, my intution is usually right on, and it was yet again.

Hello, My Name is AkCopGirl and I'm an Addict

What! You say I can not be an addict. Oh, but I can and I am. Not in the convetional way, durgs were never a choice for me because of my choosen career path, the military and law enforcement really frown on that kind of thing. Alcohol does not really appease me any more, yes I did drink but the ocational binge drinking. I would get shnockered then there would be that one day when I had the hagover from hell and I would say no more, and I wouldn't drink for long periods of time, like when I was stationed in Italy and got left at this club with guy, but I will save that story for another day. I do smoke cigarettes at work not too much at home because of my daughter, and when I do I smoke outside. My other addiction is caffeine, which I choose to do by drinking Moutaindew.
Now I am trying to quit smoking so I picked up a hobbie to keep my hands busy, and that is now my favorite addiction of all. When I'm at work I can not wait to get home to continue working on it. On my days off sometimes it is all I want to do and interaction with my daughter is the only thing that pulls me away. I have only been doing this hobbie for about a week, but I am addicted and can't wait to see how the first thing I make turns out.
So hello, my name is AkCopGirl and I am an addict. Unfortunately there is no type of Anonymous group for this, I think I might find a group though.
My new addiction is to replace smoking, as I improve with it I will start dwendling down on the nicotine. I was inspired by a book. My addiction is KNITTING, yup that is right I'm coming out of the closest, I'm addicted to knitting. It is relaxing and is helping to quit smoking, I have smoked less in the last week than normal. I'm making my daughter a scarf, even though she really wants a blanket, she collects blankets like normal girls collect dolls (again another story). I'm profecting my knit one/prul two or knit two/purl one conscept, which is slow going when I finish the scarf I will post a pic, I'm just knitting that no purling.

Playing Tag with the chicken

Of course I'm not playing real tag I am palying phone tag with my guy. This has been going on for the last couple of days. I have called him and left a voice mail on his cell and he has done the same. There are important bits of information that I would like to talk to him about before he gets back. Well I could wait for him to get back but I'm to chicken shit to do it face to face.
Bit #1 Why I did not call more, I have plenty of excuses, like I didn't know his schedule or I didn't want to bother him. Really what it comes down to is that he makes me nervous and everything I want to say I forget, but it is a two way street and he could have called me more also. It also makes me nervous that he has something else going on with someone down there???
Bit #2 When he wants to see me he can call me, I'm trying not to be the psycho girlfriend with all the insecurities, the clingy need girl but sometimes I get hormonal (like I am right now, PMS). I will say I have always been a good actress so even when I do see him I will act the apporiate way, which I'm not sure what that is.
Bit #3 Will have to wait until he comes back, which is the biggest of all, when do we get to consummate our relationship in other words when do we get to have sex. Yes, I understand that you got out of a bad marriage a few years ago. Yes, I understand that you want to take it slow, for the relationship, but I always believed that sex is it's own enitity in the relationship.
Really what it comes down to is that I have not had sex (as in the act between two people having intercourse) in two and half bloody fucking years, yes I said two and half bloody fucking years, or 30 months, or 910 days, or 21,840 hours, or 1,310,400 mins or 78,624,000 seconds. I am getting bored of self satisfaction it does not appease me anymore.
In all reality I'm a normal, confident, woman who know that her insecurities are hogwash and I usually don't pay attention unless it is a nagging intution that I feel deep down. These insecurites are more on the surface and I brush them away, but they still make me nervous. These what if scenarios are pissing me off, I know I don't need the reasurance that I sound so desparte for. I'm prefectly happy without someone in my life I just like the company and entertainment that it brings.
I think winter is wearing on me, as the dark it is starting to make me crazy. And the mad (as in crazy) people that I had to deal with while shopping yesterday implanted the maddness bug up my ass, now I will have to take a good dose of bug repelant aka reality to not be mad anymore. Trying to keep the mind occupied in the winter in Alaska is not easy, I started to learn how to knit, I do scrapbooking, I play with my daughter, I'm going to start going to the gym again, and tanning to make my pasty white ass a nicely shaped tanned ass. As hobbies go I have plenty to keep me occupied, but what I don't have is a nice rousing bit of wild animal sex... Maybe soon because the hormones are crazy and the darkness in making me even more crazy.
I think I am going to have an all out attack on my guy when he gets home, then have a nice frousing bit of wild animal sex to relieve all this built up aggression...

Two Weeks Notice

I have two week until my guy gets back. What a releif it will be to have him back. I'm a little nervous on how things will go, he has been gone for a while and I'm affriad that things might have changed for him. I know how I feel I'm just scared on how he feels, I also know these are just my insecurities trying to trip me out. I will ignore them, and be positive, I know deep doen everything is fine...

Bits about Alaska

You know your from Alaska when...

....you think bald eagles aren't that great
... you know to go to best buy a month after a cd release because thats when it
will FINALLY arrive in Alaska
....you wish seagulls came with a mute button
...you can go to Mc.Donalds and order off the $1.50 menu which they feel is
equivalant to the $0.99 menu
.... you were appalled by the "Carrs-Safeway" merge a few years ago
....you have to have a raven cage around your trash to keep them out
....you go to school or work in the dark and come home in the dark
....30 degrees is shorts weather (it's true)
....-10 is a bit nippy (also true)
....buses leaving school are delayed because a bear is in the parking lot
....you tell people you live in an igloo for kicks
....you dont swim in natural bodies of water for fear of swimmers itch or
beaver fever
.... having a moose in your front yard is a legitimate excuse for being late
to school
.... there is nothing like Matanuska Maid (local dairy products)
....you only go to the AK state fair for the food
....you have been chased or know someone who has been chased by a moose at
least once.
.... you design your halloween costumes to fit over snow gear
....you get an attitude when u have to pay tax in the lower 48
.... there is 4 feet of snow the night be fore school and u STILL have to go.
....if you dont like the weather wait 5 mins and then go back out
....you sleep through an earthquake like nothing ever happened
....salmon isnt a delicacy
....halibut is beer battered rather than cooked some fancy way (the best way)
... 70 degrees is equivalant to 90 degrees in the lower 48
.... you know who "Sleeping Lady" is
....during the winter you rarely use your freezer,
....you think 4 bucks for a loaf of bread is cheap
.... a "cookout" is not all the time outside because its entirely too cold
for all of that (yes, we do BBQ in the winter)
.... you don't sleep in the summer because its too short to miss a minute of
it
....half your friends own a sled (snow machine) and you think people that
call them snow mobiles are insane
...you call tourist terrorist
...You refer to the 48 states as the "lower 48"
.... you've seen the northern lights, and you know why they are such a "big
deal"
....you know its all about the snow, DUH.
...you know that Cattle Company has the best potato soup there is.
...you know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Break-up, and
Re-Construction.
...your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil or black blankets.
...Two speed limits in Alaska, the get outta my way limit, and taking cover
limit
...you go to red robin and only order the bottomless fries
....you only watch the news when they announce the amount of the years
dividend
...Your school classes weren't canceled because of ice
...You KNOW your teacher is stoned in class
...you have to start your car at least an hour before you leave so most of
the ice and snow will melt off by the time you leave
...you wear flips flops all year, and don't get sick
...you've never seen cotton or tobacco growing, but your neighbor has a 30
acre pot field
...You think driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.
...You literally cant leave the house without seeing some one you know.
...You know the term "studs" isnt referring to hot guys.
...You know that the term "native" means to get drunk.
...have to ski in gym class
...Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through red lights without flinching.
...You see people wearing Carharts clothes at social events.
...You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
.... you know the homeless eskimos on 5th ave. by name
...you know who "Binki" was and was so sad when he died.
...you expect to see a moose crossing Tudor everytime u drive down.
...You give up and tell people in the lower 48 that you DO live in an igloo
and you DO have a pet polar bear named Mishka when they refuse to believe
otherwise.
....you call someone without a crack in there windshield a tourist

I don't know who wrote this but it is so true.

Princess Lolly or Queen Frostline

When I was a kid my favorite board game was Candyland. My daughter now has a Candyland game. We don't play to often, but last night she wanted to so we did. The whole time we were playing she kept asking who I wanted to be? Then she told me that I could be Queen Frostline (from the old version) and she could be Princess Lolly. Ofcourse the newer version of Candyland does not have a Queen, she has been reduced to a princess. And as for Princess Lolly, she is now just known as Lolly, loosing her princess status, I guess we'll never know why. I suppose it is because of the Candyland DVD that came out a couple of years ago, and the base line of the story is that Princess Frostline (former Queen) needs to be rescued.

We did not play in the traditional manner of being the red, blue, yellow, or green gingerbread people. Somewhere along in time we have misplace them, and more than likely when my daughter has played with the game by herself is when they were lost. Instead of taking up vaulable play time we imporvised and used Monopoly pieces instead. It worked just as well and she we happy to play as the horse, her favorite animal. She choose the dog for me, so instead of a race of gingerbread it was a race between a dog and a horse. When we finished playing she won two games to me only winning one, but that is the way it is supposed to be when playing with your kids.

Now they have different version of the game, as a Dora the Explorer and DVD game

As for a horse that is one of a different color. Hasbro has come out with a FurReal Friends Horse named Butterscotch, they began advertising it on TV about a week age and that is all I have heard that she wants for Christmas, with about 20 other things on her list. But she will probably get the horse as it is her favorite aninmal.

Under Construction

Sorry for the inconvience, I have been adding and changing my blog to make it all mine, construction is still in progress. Please be cautious as things are subject to change.

Darwin Awards

Of course it is that time of year again, just to refresh your memory last years winner used a .22 cal bullet as a fuse in his truck because the lights went out. What has this years winner done that can top that? What have the runners up done to put them in the top 5? Read on, and you will learn who and why are the winners of this years....

Darwin Awards

5th RUNNER-UP: Goes to a San Anselmo , California man who died when he it a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital . The accident occurred about 3:00 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.

4th RUNNER-UP: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.

3rd RUNNER-UP: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

2nd! RUNNER -UP: "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the.22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl M.D.Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. " I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

1st RUNNER-UP: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants Pass , Oregon . A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon, Doctor Johnny Delashaw, at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.

Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER: The late John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington , decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for the late Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.

Congratulations! You win! And some more idiots have been removed from the gene pool.

Firsts

My daughter will be five in a week. Wow, has time gone fast, I can remeber giving birth just yesterday it seems sometimes. On Sunday before leaving for work, my daughter and I were eating breakfast, after she run to the bathroom and I thought nothing of it. Then about 5 min later she comes out and says "Mom, I lost a tooth." "Okay, let me see," I replied. Now not being quite five and thinking the worst she starts to get teary eyed and states a very silly coment, of "I can't eat any more." Trying not to laugh to hard I tell her that a new one will grow and she will still be able to eat.
Today we had out first eye doctor appointment, which she did very good. Her left eye seems to be a little lazy, so I was conserned. The doctor has to diolate her eyes so she can get a better look at them. After putting in the drops (that do sting), we have to wait for a good forty-five mins, I took her to a local eye doctor that was located right in to a department store, so we walked around and did some shopping. About half way through the waiting period she says "I can't see, lets go back to the doctor." Which told me the drop were doing what they were supposted to do. And for anyone who has had their eyes diolated before knows that intense brightness. The good thing is she does not need glasses, but unfortunetly we do have an appointment with a specailist about her lazy eye.

Pathetic or not?

My guy has been gone now for a total of three weeks, and I know he can not contact me at the moment. But I broke down, called his cell and left a message. The message went as follows- Hey it’s me just wanted to say that I miss you (big dramatic sigh, which just went with the tone and it was really unplanned), that is it, bye. I sounded depressed on the phone and very pathetic. Now when I called it was just to hear his voice on his voice mail message. I had been a little depressed earlier because I was doing research on strabismus (lazy eye), which my daughter might have. We have an eye appointment on Monday to find out, or if she just needs glasses. I learned that she may have to have corrective surgery and vision therapy, so I was freaked out. Then on my way home from work I was tired and started thinking about it again. I decided that I might feel better if I heard my guy’s voice so I called. I would have really like to call, and talk to him about it, but I knew that was not possible. So instead of making me feel better when I heard his voice it depressed me even more. Next time I am going to leave a not so depressed and maybe even a little naughty message.

Old Men, Middle Aged Men, Young Men

Doing my job can at times be very exciting and at others be exteremly boring, but every once in a while I get some comments that can be down right, humorus and entertaining. I have a number of these comments and sometimes conversations with with men of all ages. I am usually good natured about these comments and take them with a smile. I have been purposed to twice and propositioned a couple more times than that.
My first purposal was made in the unmost romantic place of the elevator. I had gotten on to find myself alone with an older (old enough to be my grandfather) gentelman, I smiled and asked "how are you doing today sir?" His response was " I'm doing better now, I'm in the elevator with a female law enforcement officer. I like female law enforcement officers, they keep me in line. And your young too that just makes it better. Do you what to get married and keep me in line?" Unfortuneatly I had to decline this gentelman's sweet offer and I now most often then not take the stairs, it's good exercise.
My second purposal was made by a middle aged gentelman, who was intoxicated. He asked me and ever other woman in sight if they would marry him. Then I got to be alone with him for a few minutes and he insisted that I was in love with him and should leave my current life to be with him. No matter how many time I tired asure him that I was exteremly happy with my current relationship and living situation, he would insist that deep down I loved him and should run away with him. I attempted to humor him for a while hoping he would get tired of trying and leave it be. But that didn't happen until csp came to pick him up. So much for being purposed to by candle light in a romantic resturant, I get the wierd guys that have a fettish for a woman with a badge.
As for comments, I have been asked by again an older gentelman what he had to do to be rolled around on the floor, beaten, and handcuffed by me. I told him unfortuneatly, I could not because I was a female and out policy says that a male must be handcuffed by another male, which is a load of hoohy but I got a sorrowful look and he continued on.
I was asked by a gentelman of my age if I could use my handcuffs on him, only he did not what to be arrested.
I have also been told by a gentelman of my age that a girl with a gun and handcuffs turns him on. This is my favorite of all comments, becuase this gentelman was very plesant to look a,t so as I sweetly smile and continue my business, I was envisioning what could be done with those handcuffs given the chance. Sorry, I'm living, I'm breathing, I too need fantasy to make it through life.
There are many more but those are my fovorites...

Why Morons

Why? I just don't understand why people treat some people the way they do. I was working the evening shift last night and my chief came in to finish up some work later in the evening. My chief is the nicest guy in the world and would do anything for anyone of his officers. But when releife came in early and saw that the cheif was at work he started wining and bitching about other officers and how they got better hours then him. It was just one thing after another. I feel sorry for the guy but enough is enough all he does is bitch about how bad his life is, well get over it, you are here to do a job and just because it may not always work in your favor does not mean you should wine about it all the time. He get angry with the chief when the chief is trying to help him, I could no longer stand to listen to the winer and my shift was over, so I left.

For 1peanut

The web site is www.blogthings.com they have all kinds of crasy little test from what song should you strip to? to What is your love style? You learn stuff about you that you may or may not have known before. And it's fun and passes time.

Blog Things about me

Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things.Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments.You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it.You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle. You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Two Weeks tomorrow

Well my guy left two weeks ago and I think I'm going crazy. Not in the literal sense, but something close. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, he is defiantly the most amazing man that I have met my entire life. The best thing about him is he makes me laugh and that is one of the biggest things I miss about him, he always has a goofy comment for any occation, he is never on time for anything, and his house until he left looked like the aftermath of a tornado. But I think of these and all of his great qualities and smile, hoping he is safe and doing well, as I have not heard from him, but I figure I will be this weekend. Going to a new place and doing new things is stressful and there is an adjustment period which we all deal with, some by contacting family and friends, staying tied to what they know and love, others going on their own until they are comfortable with their new surroundings. I am proud of him and can not wait until he returns, in 10 weeks.

Why can't we all just get along

I was on ivillage.com one of my favorite web site reading Grrl Geinus's blog. Well she was said how some famous fashion designer had a curvy woman in his show as a joke. This just makes me sick. I'm sick of the fashion industry and models that do not protry normal women. When Spain had their fashion week and made a rule that any woman who did not have a normal BMI (body mass index) then they could not be in the show. Well great for Spain, they finnally did something that no other country did, they put a restriction on models that look like stick people. No, I am not jealous of these women, I am a health 29 year old women, who is a size 12 and could not be more happy. I have no insecurities and I have no reason to have any. I don't know why but I have always been out spoken on thing, but this just gets me going even more. To teach our little girls that normal women are not beautiful is not something that I want my daughter growinig up to beleive, I am teaching her that you are beautiful not matter what you look like, because I beleive it is what is on the inside that matters. A person who is beautiful on the outside my not be beautiful on the inside, and vice versa, you can also have people who are beautiful inside and out or not. There are all type of people in this world.

When is it Love

K (my guy) is leaving for three months. I was upset because he wanted to go to dinner with friends and not just me. Dinner Monday night went really well, F and her husband are always fun to be around and my spirts were high because we, the men that I work with and me actually acomplished something in the staff meeting we had, my department is only about 12 officers because it is federal. Back to dinner, we went for Chinese which is always one of my favorites. F and her husband have two kids the boy is six months younger than my daughter, who did not go because of pervious plans, and the girl who is almost a year. The boy always, as most four year olds do, provided the entertainment. All went well expect in I was think the whole time when do I get alone time with you and nervous about bring it up, I didn't want to say goodbye in the car when he dropped me off after dinner. On the hour drive home we were talking about his up coming trip and what he expected from it. Finally as he was getting close to my house I got the never up to ask if I could stop by after he came home from dinner with his family. His reply is as long as you don't mind me running around, because I still have alot do to before I leave. Fast forward about three hours and here I am standing in his house that is just pure catatrofy because he is leaving and he is also a single man. Not saying that all men are messy, but mine however is. I'm just looking are what still has to be done laundry still to wash and fold, vaccuming, the kitchen. I ask is there anything I can help with? He says if you want to. Well my weakness is a messy kitchen, if there is one I will find it and make it like new again. So where did I head, strait for the kitchen of course, with dishes piled up for I don't want to think how long, probably a little over a week, but still one guy can make alot of dirty dishes. As I started to clear way the mess and make the kitchen whole again, it hit me. Oh my goddess, I'm in love with him. What in the hell am I supposed to do about that. As I slowly inhale trying to clam myself. He asked me what was wrong, I coffessed my love and rushed into his arms. And maybe if I lived in a romance novel that might happen, but no. Then I thought on it a mintue, no it was not love but I do care for him, and for now that is enoughHe was in the laundry room at the time starting the washer again. I figure when the time is right I will tell him, but now he has enough to worry about. So when we said our goodbye we held each other a little longer than usual, I told him I would miss him, then walked home.

The Writing On the Wall

I came home from work last night to hear my daughter crying. Thinking that there is something treble wrong and that she got in trouble for something. I walked back to my bedroom and she is underneath her blanket hiding and sobbing. I asked her what was wrong and all she said was I'm sorry mommy, I was trying to write my letters. As I stand there wondering what she is talking about I notice blue marks on the wall. Not just a little bit but a lot, being that she is almost five she knows that she is to only use paper. I told her I was very mad at her and that it was time for her to go to bed. After about ten minutes I have calmed down enough to go to bed myself and talk to her about it. I tell her that I know she was practicing her letters but anytime that she feels the need to write on something there is lots of paper in the computer room and she can use as much as she wants. Then I ask if she is going to write on the wall any more and of course the answer is no. My daughter is a little of a drama queen and can over dramitize a lot of stuff, I have learned the best way do deal with me being mad is a mommy time out. I take myself out of the situation, leave the room, go outside and get some air. Then I come back and calmly discuss what she did wrong making sure she understands.

I Was Just So Mad

The guy I have been seeing for awhile is leaving on Tuesday and will be gone for the next three months for further job training. I would like to spend some alone time with him but when I called today to see what the plans were for tomorrow, he says let me get in touch with a friend of our and see what is up with her and her family. Now I have known both my guy and my friend since high shcool, (about 11 years ago) and in the last year or so since getting out of the military have reconnected with them. They have remained friends for the whole time that I was gone, and I did not always stay in contact with them, because I was off on my new adventure. I respect that they are friends and he would like to see them before he leaves, but I am also kind of upset. I know I am being selfish, but I would like some alone quality time with him also. I am sure there is a way to compromise and I am still thinking on that. First I have to work past being upset. If he would have told me a week ago that he was going to plan something with all of us together then I would have not been planning something special with just me and him. I jsut have to readjust my plan so I can have some time alone with him after or before we see our friends. Now that I have wrote this I feel as if I'm a spoiled brat and jsut made because I didn't get it my way. So I will see him later tonight and talk to him about what I wanted to talk to him about before he left.

Loosing Blog Virginity

I have kept a journal at some points in my life and have always found writing what I am thinking a good way to get it out. Well this is my first post and it is kind of like loosing one's virginity. I'm nervous and excited, I have expectations and I don't know what to expect. I don't know how it will go, but I will learn as I go.
As of right now I have writers block and can not think of a dang thing to write about. I am a single mother, and a police officer. Sometimes both rolls become itnertwined. I am a Virgo which means I'm very pick and I love organization and cleanliness. As of right now there are no other women in my department, but that is fine with me. You will learn that I am very much not a girly girl. My favorite sport is Hockey and I like the everything the outdoors has to offer, even fishing. And lastly I am a horrible speller and will apologize now for any mistakes I have made or will make in the future.